I wrote this post in November last year, but I didn’t feel ready to share it then.
Some things take time to settle before you can properly put them into words.
And I think this was one of those things for me.
When God Starts Getting Your Attention
There are moments where you realise God has been speaking… not loudly, but consistently.
Not forcing.
Not rushing.
But gently drawing you.
Scripture says: “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them” – John 6:44.
And over time, you begin to see it for what it is: God has been getting my attention.
Partial Surrender Still Isn’t Surrender
Even as I was building my personal walk with God, there were areas I genuinely gave to Him. But there were also areas I kept holding onto.
Things I didn’t fully surrender.
Choices I still wanted to control.
Paths I still wanted to figure out on my own.
And if I’m honest, I knew it.
Scripture says: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” — Proverbs 3:5
Not part of your heart. Not selected areas.
All.
Jesus also makes it clear: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” — Luke 9:23
Surrender isn’t partial. It’s daily, and it’s whole.
A Question That Stayed With Me
During NSPPD, Pastor Jerry Eze said something that stayed with me: “This life you want to keep… what are you using it for?”
It wasn’t just a question in the moment. It lingered.
Because it exposed something I couldn’t ignore anymore. That I had been walking with God, but still holding back parts of myself.
And Scripture already confronts this tension: “Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it” — Luke 9:24
God Was Calling Me Deeper
What I began to understand is that God wasn’t trying to take from me. He was calling me deeper.
Deeper trust.
Deeper obedience.
Deeper surrender.
Because you can walk with God and still not fully yield to Him. And I was learning that slowly.
Transformation isn’t accidental.
“The Lord… transforms us into his image with ever-increasing glory” — 2 Corinthians 3:18.
God doesn’t leave us where we are—He changes us as we follow Him.
When God Interrupts Your Control
God doesn’t always come in loudly. Sometimes it’s subtle.
A conviction that won’t leave.
A question that keeps resurfacing.
A quiet discomfort when you know you’re still in control.
And over time, you start to realise: This isn’t a coincidence. This is God refusing to let you stay the same.
A Seed, Not a Sudden Change
What I’m learning is that God doesn’t always change everything at once. Sometimes He just plants something.
A conviction.
A hunger.
An awareness that there is more to Him than where you currently are.
Jesus describes this in the parable of the sower — Mark 4.
And Paul writes, “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow” — 1 Corinthians 3:6.
That seed grows quietly — but it grows
“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” — Philippians 1:6
And that’s where I found myself.
Not at completion.
Not at full surrender.
But in the middle of God still working.
Closing Thought
God is patient, but He is also intentional.
And when He starts getting your attention, it’s not to pressure you. It’s to draw you closer.
One step at a time.
One surrender at a time.
One yes at a time.
Closing Prayer
Father, thank You for the way You patiently pursue me.
Thank You for not letting me remain comfortable when You are calling me deeper.
Help me not to hold back areas of my life from You.
Teach me to trust You fully, even when I don’t fully understand.
And grow every seed You’ve planted in me into full surrender.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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